A Day in San Francisco

This past weekend Hal and I spent a little more than a day in the San Francisco area. What was worth flying all the way across the country just to spend the day and fly back across the country?
                        
This guy. Our last living grandparent, Hal's grandpa isn't doing well, so we flew across the country to see him one last time.

We were so lucky that he was awake part of the time we came to visit and could nod his head and speak a little bit. I'm so glad that we were able to see him one last time. It was the first time that I've ever hugged someone goodbye knowing it would be the last time I saw them. You know those people that have such funny personalities that when you see something or hear something you're instantly reminded of that person? That's Hal's grandpa. He always wore those blue jumpsuits with nothing on underneath. And his laugh. He laughs like The Count on Sesame Street, and is one of my favorite things ever about him. Good 'ol CD, we'll miss you dearly.

To temper the sadness of saying goodbye to Hal's grandpa we were so fortunate that his brother was working a MAC event that same weekend in San Fransisco.

We walked all around the city together and saw him in his element at the MAC event, and I was even lucky enough to have him do my makeup at the event. I loved that lipstick so much I snatched it right up. And in case you're wondering, he said it's his go to for weddings this season.

San Francisco has such a fun energy as a city, and has so many beautiful buildings, it's perfect for just walking. Not to mention I forgot how amazing west coast weather is. Coming back to heat and 70% humidity is making me miss those foggy breezy nights.

Beck, Thanks for showing us the town, and being a bright spot in our sad reason for visiting. If you don't follow Beck on social media, you probably should right now. He is such a bright spot of positivity on social media, and he's even making his own organic teas. You can thank me later for introducing you, and tell me you're jealous he's my brother in law. Watch his Konmari videos, they'll make you turn your house upside down, in a good way. Here's his youtube, etsy, and instagram. 

I Turned 28

I'm finally getting around to posting pictures from our amazing trip home earlier this month. We went home for my birthday as a good excuse to play with friends and family with a week. We started out the trip in southern Utah with some friends hiking for 4 days. I promise you'll see more of our adventures soon.

But for now lets focus on the important part, my birthday celebrations while home! I had my very first Swig cookie. I've heard so much about them since moving away from Utah, and when we saw Bountiful now has a Swig store, we decided to check it out. It was a darn good sugar cookie; but nothing can beat out Parson's sugar cookies. I can't find sugar cookies like that out here.

My mother in law and Hal made me the most delicious dinner for my birthday party. Cafe Rio style tacos were just as good as the real thing. She even made me a pavlova with fresh berries and whipping cream for my cake. If you haven't had pavlova before, find some, eat some; and you can thank me later.

We had a Peace Corps friend who happened to be in town while we were home, so we got to have a joining of two worlds, our peace corps family meeting our real families. We had a very rousing rendition of the drawing game, which of course is the perfect ending to a night.

As the final celebration for my birthday, my brother in law took us sailing on the Great Salt Lake. This has been on my bucket list forever. I'm kind of obsessed with all things nautical, so sailing has been a dream of mine forever. This was the perfect ending to the perfect birthday trip. If you ever have the chance to get out and try sailing, I highly recommend it. 

A New York Wedding

Hal's little brother got married in New York earlier in April. We were pretty happy they decided to do it in New York since it's just a short bus ride away, and we love any excuse to spend time in a fun place with people we love. It was most of Hal's family's first time in New York, so it was SO fun to see it all with them.

In true New York fashion the pizza place they wanted to use for the rehearsal dinner was over crowded, so we got the pizza to go, and legit ate it on a street corner. That was probably my favorite part, because it was so memorable.

The next day we were up bright and early for their ceremony at the Manhattan LDS temple. The wind made it a bit chilly, but the sun came out and it ended up being a lovely day.

We had such a good time in New York with Hal's family. It was seriously a blast hanging out with them all day. And I'm ashamed I didn't get any pictures with his family. I was too busy enjoying myself to take anything more than a selfie with Hal. 

Hal's parents threw the most adorable luncheon in Central Park you've ever seen. No joke. They had these adorable little bagged lunches with mini baguette sandwiches in them. And when you have a wedding luncheon picnic in Central Park, not just the photographer is taking pictures of you. 

If you're looking for the perfect wedding skirt, I'd highly recommend this skirt by Chichwish. It will take a while to get to you, but I had tons of compliments on it, and it's perfect for spring and summer weddings.

Right before I left my boss gave me some recommendations for places to try near where we were staying in Chelsea. I can't stress what amazing recommendations they were. Go to the Donut Plant. Go. Run. And order a creme brulee donut and it will melt away all stress that exists in your life with it's deliciousness

And if you're ever near the flat ion building GO to Eataly. It's this amazing collection of foods from Italy, and restaurants that cook all that delicious food. We ate at Le Verdure, their vegetarian restaurant. It was one of the best meals I've ever had. Everyone loved what they ate, and the flavors were out of this world. Our family loved it so much, they went back on Sunday after we left New York. It's that good. And get the gelato, because let's be real, dessert is where it's at.

Congrats Dane and Kellie!

It's a Sad Day

Remember how this year was supposed to be great after a rough year last year? Well, we're not off to such a good start.

This morning my 90 year old grandmother passed away. In less than three months we lost both of these beautiful grandmothers.
                            
She was my last living grandparent and her death feels harder than the others because I just saw her a few weeks ago when I was home for Christmas.

Her death is bittersweet. She had been alone for a long time and she had dementia and was often confused about where she was, or what decade it was.

When we went to visit, she didn't always know who we were; but I'm so glad I got to spend Christmas morning with her, helping her open her presents. She had long hair for the first time and kept commenting on my hair so I showed her how to put her hair into a bun.

She lived with my dad, and he and my brothers took great care of her. I'm sure this is very bittersweet for my dad as she was increasingly hard to care for, but she was his mother, and his last living parent, but now she gets to be with her husband.

We're all sad that she's gone, but so glad to know she's back with her husband in a happier place.

A Christmas Visit Home

This may be a bit late, but better late than never, eh?

Hal and I are so tricky. In his new hire paperwork for his new job, it said new hires aren't allowed to take time off for Christmas their first year, so we told everyone we wouldn't be coming home for the holidays. Only to find out after he started hi job, that his specific office would be closed from Christmas to New Years and we was welcome to take additional time off.

Hollah.

Oh, except he kept telling out families we weren't coming when they kept forgetting, and we bought our tickets in secret.

Cause we're awesome like that.

I wish I had recorded some of the reactions from my family. Hal's family knew we were coming by the time we made it there, but we were able to keep up the surprise with my family, and it was awesome. I highly recommend it, if you ever get the chance.

We had such a blast at home. It literally flew by. It's hard to live away and only come home once or twice a year because then you have to split up your time and try to see everyone, and give everyone equal amounts of time. That was not favorite. But it was still worth it.

It snowed overnight on Christmas Eve. Perfect to wake up to a white Christmas. It was the perfect gift. Well, except for Christ being born. That's the real perfect gift. This was second perfect.

 We got to spend so much time with family and nieces and nephews which is always a favorite. Taking selfies with kids is the best.

 My sister brought wee babe Lillian home with her and my dad gave her a baby blessing while we were there. We were so lucky that the baby blessing overlapped with our time there. The one downfall to surprising your family, no one thinks to tell you about events like that.

We were so lucky that our friends Meagan and Charles actually wanted to pick us up and take us to the airport. Especially because both flights were late at night. It snowed all day the day we left, and we kept hoping our flight would get canceled. Then we remembered Salt Lake actually knows how to live with snow, so our flight wasn't canceled. I forgot to take a single picture in the snow, so we attempted one at the airport as it was still snowing. You might not be able to see the snow, but the picture turned out pretty good anyway.

 It was so good to go home for a visit and see as many people as we could while we were there, and to bask in the snow and the beauty that is the Salt Lake area, and the wonderful mountains that we really miss; but it was so good to go home; and to realize we really have finally established our lives out here. I think our kitties were happy to see us too.

One Year, Two Grandmas

You may remember back in August Hal lost his grandma. She was such a sweet woman and cared so much about all of her grandkids. I think the legacy she left was so amazing. She had something like 99 great grandkids. Every Christmas she hung tiny little stockings in her big front window for all of her kids and grandkids, over the years it just kept growing and growing.
                          
Last night I found out that my grandmother passed away. It was definitely time, she was 94 and not in good health anymore. My sweet sassy hunched over grandma. She's been hunched over for as long as I can remember her.
                           
My grandmother has been alone for so long. She divorced when my mom was 8 years old and she never remarried. She outlived my mother by almost 8 years. My aunt has spent so long helping to watch over and take care of my grandmother. It feels comforting to me to know that my aunt took such good care of her, that she moved from one daughter's care; to be greeted by another daughter on the other side. 

Meet Lillian

Guys, you're about to receive an overload of cuteness. My sister had a baby. Not just any baby, the first baby on my side of the family in almost 7 years. Growing up, almost every year a sister or sister in law had a baby. Then 7 years a drought.

Well, October 28th, the drought ended.
                          
I flew to Portland to visit my sister in an attempt to be her doula. Things didn't quite go according to plan and Lillian Elaine came early. Instead I got to be a digital doula through text messages; and I got to spend my entire trip with this little beauty.

I arrived just in time for Halloween, which is the best holiday ever, so this happened.

 If you can't tell, her shirt says Wickedly Cute, like auntie. So then this happened

Matching Halloween shirts. That's how we roll.

It was so fun to be there for all of the first my sister and her husband were having and to help them capture the moments. First night home with her, first bath at home, first trip outside the house with a baby. And now you're going to be overloaded with baby cuteness, and you're gonna like it.

She's such a little squirmier, and does the funniest things with her hands, and she gets the hiccups all the time, just like me. Glad to pass on something.

And we went to Voodoo Donught, because when in Portland. We maybe went more than once while I was there. And you're welcome Marianne for posting this photo. It accurately portrays how I felt about that fresh still warm maple bar.

My other sister came into town the day before I left. It was so fun to be with two of my sisters at the same time. My sister took the most beautiful newborn photos while she was there. The first photo in this post was one, and here is one to make you instantly go "awwww" So go check out her company's facebook page. Hal and I are her cover photo too, so holla.
                                               

Seeing the good in the bad

It's interesting how reminiscing and reliving moments of your life re-spark the passion and the emotions you you felt during those times.

Tonight Hal asked me a question about my mother's death. Seemingly out of no where he just wanted to know more about it, so I told him my story.

My story of losing my mother unexpectedly at 19. To waking up to my dad calling my name in the you better get here right now tone. I thought I was trouble for not doing the dishes. Instead I heard him on the phone with 911 saying he thought she had had a stroke. In that moment our lives forever changed. She didn't have a stroke. She had a large brain aneurysm that she had likely had since she was a young girl. And my little brother and I held the dog back and watched in frozen, terrified horror as the paramedics carried our mother out of the house and we locked eyes with her, not knowing it was the last time we'd see her awake.

I lost my mother at too early an age.

But I also gained so much. I gained a stronger relationship with my dad, who is the best dad I could ask for. I gained a closer relationship with all of my siblings. We have all taken on a little different roles than we had might our mother still be alive. We've learned to laugh more together and appreciate our time together. Still one of my favorite memories as a family is introducing my family to Brian Regan while we waited endless hours in hospital waiting rooms. Those moments of laughing together helped ease the burden we were all feeling.

I gained the appreciation for spending time with family and the confidence to end an unhealthy relationship.

But most of all I gained a relationship with God that I will never give up and could never deny. There were moments where I had blessings where God literally answered the questions plaguing my mind.

There were days where I felt like the loneliest, saddest person on the planet, and in those moments sometimes I felt like all I had was god beside me, comforting me, assuring me I would see my mother again some day.

My mother used to come home from work late at night and we'd both be the only ones still awake in the house and she would come sit on my bed and just talk to me. These some of my most cherished memories of my mother. But they also led for some very lonely nights after her death. In some of those moments I could feel her presence right beside me, reassuring me that she is still aware of me.

While I don't wish I had lost my mother so early, I try to look at the positive things that come out of a really crappy situation. It can be so easy to be negative or willow, so I try to remind myself that if good can come out of one of the worst things I've been through, then good is probably happening all around me, all the time.

I know that this is a very person post, and I understand if it's hard to read, but sometimes emotions are overwhelming, and just need to find a way out. 

Lessons I Have Learned From My Mother

I asked Hal to bring me my old journals on his most recent visit to DC. The other night I went through them looking at old things I had stuck in there to remember. I found this package, this amazing package. My senior year of high school my seminary (a religious class you could take as an elective) asked each of our parents to write letters to us of their testimonies about our church and what they hoped to see from each of us by the time we were 21. Those letters with other things we wrote in his class were mailed out to us on our 21st birthdays.

This is the last paragraph from my mother's letter to me.

"I knew you were born to our family for a special purpose, it could be for many purposes. I have had a wonderful time seeing you grow to be this age; I will have a wonderful time seeing you grow more."

My mother never made it to my 21st birthday. She passed away when I was only 19.

Reading this letter from her for the first time in 5 years was like reading it for the first time again. Reading her words of wisdom to my 21 year old self made me realize some of the things I have learned from my mother; so I thought I would share some of the lessons I have learned from my mother, and how her example is still teaching me today.

To Love People.
"If you don't remember anything else, remember that your dad and I love you with a love that you will not fully appreciate until you have your own children. We want all that is the best for you. We will be here for you no matter what, you can come and talk to us about anything and it will be OK. We will support you in anything that you do." 
                             
This was my favorite part of the letter because I know it is true. My mother had a kind heart, and her children didn't always make the choices she hoped they would make, but each of us know that our parents loved us unconditionally no matter our choices. Granted, we knew her values and what she wanted for us, but we still knew she loved us no matter what.

This is something I really value that my parents taught me. People are people. People make mistakes, people need love, and to know that others are going to be there for them, loving them no matter what.

To Have Useful Skills, and to Work Hard.
"I hope you chose a degree you can use in your home, something that you can "keep up" on after you are married. It is important in this world to have a backup. You just never know when you might need to not only bring some money into the home, but if need be, you could support your family."

There were definitely times growing up that both of my parents worked, and times that each of my parents solely supported our family. My mom was the hardest worker of anyone I have ever met in my entire life. While my degree was not the most useful, gaining an education was. And I think my mom would be proud of the fact that I have supported Hal and I the last two years while he finishes school.

To Listen to Promptings / Intuition.
"It is easy to want something so badly that we pray for that thing and we push all the prompting away. Be prepared to receive direction in an area you had not thought of, or hear advice you don't want to hear. Having the courage and openness to receive and act on these directions will make a huge difference in your life"

Oh boy did my mom ever know this was something that I constantly struggle with. It is so easy to get so focused on what I want to happen that I completely miss the road I should have taken.
                        
To Take Care of My Body
"I hope that you have learned to eat healthily and to get at lease some exercise. In the coming years, you will need that good foundation for your bones and general health. You will need it for work, home, and maybe even motherhood."

This is definitely advice that I took me a long time to listen to. Just because I was naturally thin I thought I could eat and do whatever I wanted. Only recently have I started to pay attention to what I put into my body, and how my body responds when I exercise regularly, and the value in doing both together. It makes for a happier mind and body.

Never Sacrifice Your Values.
"No matter how much you like or love someone, it is better to walk away and have the pain of loss than it is to sacrifice your values."

I glad this is something my mother taught me. The person I was dating when she wrote me this letter is not who she wanted me to end up with. I am so glad I did not sacrifice my values and was able to find someone amazing in the end.

To Gain a Testimony of God and Never Let It Go.
"Being true to the testimony that I received has brought me such peace and had helped me through some unbelievable hard times. I didn't have to re-decide with each day or with any given situation."

This is probably the best advice a mother can give a daughter. Gain a testimony of God, and never let it go, and then you always have it with you and never have to question it. This can be used with any type of faith. It can be used for establishing morals and values, and even just having faith in who you are as a person.
     
My mother was a beautiful person inside and out. Both of my parents taught me so many values that have led me to make big decisions and have led me to become the person that I am today. Even though my mother is no longer around every day to share her advice and lessons, they still live on in each of her children and how we live our lives, and the stories that we share with each other about our parents and how lucky we were to always know that our parents loved each other, and us unconditionally.