Monday, December 16, 2013

Living Apart

This post is kind of a culmination of those posts that have been floating around in my head; the ones I wrote about "If Only" moments, and about being in an unhealthy relationships.

What has started me thinking about these things is something that I have hinted to on my blog, and I can't believe it has taken me this long to actually post about.

When I took my job here in DC, it meant that Hal and I were deciding to live apart for 4 months.

Hal has to go back to Utah to finish his last semester at BYU. He will graduate in April, so we'll be apart for a full 4 long months.

It had me thinking about unhealthy relationships, because healthy relationships mean allowing your spouse to do things that will better them, and making sacrifices for the future of your family and relationship.
So while it will suck that we will be apart for so long, our future will be so much better because I'm here working at this amazing job, supporting Hal in his last semester.

We've met quite a few couples recently that have also done long stints a part and they have given us really good tips.

1- Don't go more than a month without seeing each other. Visits are expensive, but worth it.
2- Think of things to say to each other on the phone before your daily call.
3- Continue to watch shows together. Call and start the show at the same time, and text reactions to each other.
4- Endless skype conversations.

What's the longest you've ever lived apart from your significant other?

What are your best tips to make it though?


Rachel said...

4 months is a long time--but hopefully you will sneak some visits into that time!! The longest I've gone living apart from Angel was only 18 days--that was when I was in Malaysia this summer so the time difference was a little annoying when trying to call each other. And this January I'm going to be away from home for 3 weeks.
Yes-I do think it's a mark of a healthy relationship to be able to do the tough things and be able to be separated at times for the good of your spouse and your future together...but it does kinda suck when you can't have your spouse AND whatever you're working on/accomplishing at the same time!

Autumn said...

The first 10 weeks we were married and then we've had several months in a row since his job here (although, he came on the weekend, but had to work weekends).

I felt the same thing- healthy relationships allow others to grow some wings sometimes. I felt like something that was really important for us is for me to exercise and have girl nights whenever possible. Make it known in your ward that you still want to do stuff and get invited to couple stuff even without your husband there!

Torrie said...

That's got to be tough for you both, but it's awesome that you have the opportunity to grow in this way. Matt and I have never been apart for too long, but when we are, I find that working towards individual and shared goals is a good way to stay busy and connected.

Angela said...

That is rough girl! We have never gone more than a few days (since we have been married.) I can't imagine! You have such a positive attitude about it though... how much longer to go?!

Ashley said...

I really love this post and the last post! It's an inspiration to read about you and Hal, and it makes me believe in good, healthy marriages :) Cheers to that!

Crazy Shenanigans-JMO said...

Since it's 4 months, I would make the suggestion to see each other at the half way point. That way you guys can save money but still see each other. It'll give you a countdown and those are always a good thing. Don't just text in the day. Always call or Skype. Don't go a day without actually hearing the other person.

Lauren Roerick said...

Cam and I did the same thing. I took an internship in Germany for four months while he stayed in school. It was hard, but totally worth it because the internship was something I really wanted and cared about. We skyped regularly and met up in Canada for a week in the middle. I am very grateful I am in a relationship that can handle a couple months apart here and there because for a traveling spirit like myself, that's really important to me. Of course I prefer when we travel together, but sometimes thats not the way life works. Do sweet things for each other like write actual letters and emails. Make sure you're still supporting each other and you'll be fine :) Good luck!

Tanika Rice said...

Girl, same thing with being in the Air Force. They leave for months at a time and it SUCKS. But we couldn't talk a lot. So I sent a TON of letters, so I guess since you are allowed to talk whenever LOL CALL A LOT :)

Kayla MKOY said...

Props to you girlfriend! You and he are so amazing together. So happy you support each other in all you do!! :)

Selma @ Crazy Little World Of Mine said...

I CANNOT believe I did not comment on this. I just realized this and was like "huh? what? hold one, recap!". I don't know what happened but here I am. You both will come out stronger and better, and will know what it means to live apart and still share so much with each other.

You can do this.
So, Hal is in UT and you are in DC, right? Am I losing track? Grrrrr...and boooooooo!

Hang in there sweetie. You both can do this! I know I said that before.

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