Grace

This post is not specifically about anyone or any specific event, but more of a culmination of life's course

I was going to do a funny post today, but that will have to wait because my feelings have gotten the better of me. Not like I'm crying or anything, but you know how events lead up, and it's not necessarily anything specific but it all just jumbles together and makes you feel a certain way?

Well, that is me today. Today has been a weird day. It's had big ups and low lows. It's been raining like crazy which I love. I love when the rain reflects my mood. It makes me feel comforted or something silly like that.

I got a raise today. I'm pretty excited about it. It's nice to feel like what you've been doing for so long is finally being recognized and appreciated.

It's also hard to feel completely happy when you know people close to you are suffering. Well, that's how it is for me anyway. It's hard to witness their pain, but I'm sure it's even more hard to feel the pain...well, I know it is. It's so hard to sit back and watch things fall apart and just know that all you can do is be there in case someday they might need you. All you can do is little bits when you can, at least that helps me feel a little better sometimes.

I have been through hard times in my life. I hate when you're going through something awful and someone asks "what can I do?" I know it's nice to say that, but I'm hurting, I don't want to think of something for you to do to help me, I want you to just think of something and do it. So, that is now what I try to do when someone is going through a hard time. I try to be observantly helpful. I hope it's helpful anyway.

I have noticed something lately. I met someone who reminded me so much of someone I know, but there was one major difference. They are both awesome people, and both very free spirits, but one of them is grounded in certain aspects of their life, instead of being a free spirit kind of to a fault. And honestly, I realized the difference. Faith. Faith in anything is important. But faith in some sort of a higher power is life changing. I think that that kind of faith grounds you to who you are, and never lets you loose sight of that. Faith like that makes you grateful instead of bitter. I read a blog post of someone today who I have never met in real life, and who is going through a really hard time. She ranted as most people in a hard time want to do, but then her tone took a change and she talked about how she is grateful. It just really struck me today. That's the key. To be grateful. It's hard to wallow in self pity when you think about all of the things you have been blessed with...at least it is hard for me to do that. And sometimes we need a reminder of what we have to be grateful for. I know I have to be reminded often...because I'm kind of a brat and like to complain.

Years ago when I had a myspace account I posted about 50 things that I am grateful for. It really made me think about things. Isn't interesting that you can be feeling so sad, and thinking of things that you're grateful for can automatically make you feel better? Maybe it's because you realize you're not alone and that somebody or something out there somewhere in the world has done something nice, just for you.

I haven't been to my dad's to search his computer for that mother's day post I wanted to do. Hopefully I'll make it over there tonight and hopefully I can find it. Either way I'll do a Mother's Day post soon.

Sorry for the randomness of this post, I kind of just rambled on to get things off of my mind.