Tuesday, November 24, 2009


Do you ever have those moments where you kind of just want to die? Not like literally die, but maybe just disappear from the situation. My sister and I both had those moments last week.

I kind of want to take some mechanic classes so I don't feel like an idiot every time I have to talk to our mechanic. That, and so I don't feel ripped off because everything under the sun is wrong with our cars all at once.

We just spend a butt load (parden my crassness, but it is my everyday talk) on fixing up Hal's car that our normal mechanic couldn't figure out because he has a semi luxury foreign car...curse you volvo and your sweedishness. Side note: has anyone seen Be Kind Rewind? Hal loves that movie...anyway, if you've seen it... I could say we've been sweeded by volvo.

Anywho my car has a whole list of things that are wrong with it, but the main one being my rubber on my engine mounts was gone so it vibrated my entire car, and then slowly my car developed a nach for sputtering to it's death when I would stop. Super awesome and safe, I'm sure. I'm just lucky that it didn't die in the middle of an intersection. So I brought my car into the car doctor, but I didn't have a way home from work. Luckily my sister had her car at the mechanic also and it needed to be picked up, but they didn't want me to drive it since it wasn't licensed. Through some jumbling she was going to drop off her van at the mechanic and pick up her jeep so I could drive her van home.

She warned me that the battery was dying (do you see the forshadowing?) so I couldn't leave any lights on or anything. Well, I picked up the keys and get in the car and low and behold I can't even turn the key in the ignition. Awesome. I called my little brother since he had just borrowed her van and he said sometimes you have to hit the end of the key to make it go in all the way. I hit it...it went in...and I also hit the panic button that began honking continually as I couldn't seem to shut it off for the life of me. Super awesome. After about a minute and a half of wanting to die because I am sitting in front of a mechanic with the car in panic mode I finally got the alarm to shut off. So I go to start it...Nope, nothing. Super mega awesome. After mustering up the courage I had to call the mechanic and tell him the battery is dead and ask for a jump. I was probably pretty red when the guy came out with the jumpy kit and told me I needed to clean my battery, no I probably needed a new battery. I just kept thinking, Seriously, am I this stupid? That, and I want to die right about now.

When I told my sister the story she told me hers about how she didn't wait for the car to warm up and ended up flooding the engine and coming to a stop right in front of the shop windows. The mechanic had to come out and fix it so she could actually leave.

What a pair we are, eh?

But thank you car, from the bottom of my huge heart for not being super duper expensive to fix so we didn't have to spend more of our emergency fund to fix you, unlike Hal's jerk car. Maybe that's why his name is Ed...because he's a black Volvo, Edward's alter-ego. Maybe Edward's Alter-ego, Ed is a big fat expensive jerk. So thank you Fanny, for your dying problem to just be a huge hole in your vacuum hose. I am glad I can drive around your big fat fanny for a while longer...until January when I have to replace your glasses (windshield) and to buy you new socks (breaks). Until then, please be a nice non-expensive non-alter ego car, pretty please?

I'm sure pretty much nothing could top this wanting to die story, but I felt mine was pretty bad nonetheless.

We are celebrating Thanksgiving a day early with Hal's side of the family, so Happy Thanksgiving to all of you...and look forward to my pie making post extravaganza...because I'm awesome at making pies, especially trying to do six in one night.


Selma said...

Oh no. Reading this I had to laugh. So sorry! But the story is rather horrible and quite embarrassing. Though girl, you aren't alone. I would have to take classes, too. Plural. I'm sure I'll be failing most of them but oh well. ;)
Love the fact you called the breaks "socks". That is cute.
And have fun baking...six in one night?! Wow, I'm just amazed! Don't forget to take pictures of your cakes. ;)

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

Allison said...

Oh no! Car horror stories! :D I'm glad you at least had a good Thanksgiving, that should make up for this all, right?

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