For the sake of remembering

I debated about actually doing this post because it's a little more personal than I usually go on my blog, but it kept nagging at my mind so I felt like I should. Maybe one day it can help someone else going through something similar.

I was kind of bummed to realize I don't have hardly any pictures to go along with this blog...they're all on my dad's computer, but I have a few so that will work.

On Sunday my dad gave us something amazing. He had my sister amy help him with a memoir to my mom. He wrote a poem about their life together and she edited some pictures and put it all together for him (i'll post a picture in a minutes). Then he gave us all a letter in which he addressed each of us individually, even the in-laws. My dad isn't the most social, touchy-feeley guy in the world so it was really nice to recieve this.

So there is a song that really means a lot to me and I think Hal, until right now, is the only person I have ever really told about it. For a while after my mom died which is almost two and half years ago I would listen to it usually when I was in my car and scream along to it while I balled my eyes out.

The other day I was driving around for work and it came on again, I haven't actually listend to it for quite a while. It was really nice to sing along to it again, and just kind of analyzing how things have changed and how I can actually get through it without crying...sometimes anyway. I thought I would post the song because that is what has been nagging at my mind, and maybe the few pictures I have of my mother on my computer.

So many obvious questions have gone unasked,
how can you stand and where do you fall so fast?
you're taking a step
and you're taking a breath
and you never expect that the answer is death
because this truth is hardly true

nights that you felt her
and days spent without her
make everything feel like it's slipping away
as you scream this world is far,
this world is far from ours.

after some time i imagine you sleep alright
until times that you hear her voice at night
you're telling yourself that's all in your head
she's out on the porch
and you're closer to dead
cause it's not what she deserves

nights that you felt her
days spent without her
make everything feel like it's slipping away
as you scream this world is far,
this world is far from ours.

the picture frame on the dark beige wall
holds a picture of someone you've held before
and now she's nowhere to be seen
the picture frame on the dark beige wall
holds a picture of someone you've held before
and now she's nowhere to be seen

nights that you felt her
days spent without her
make everything feel like it's slipping away
as you scream this world is far,
this world is far from ours.

you know,
[this world is far]

The song is called 'For the Sake of Remembering' by Dave Melillo, in case you were wondering.

This is the memoir my dad gave us, if anyone is interested I can post the poem he wrote, but I didn't want to type it all up right now.

I am glad I did this post though, it kind of helped me be at peace about another recent death of somone who was very speical to me. Maybe i'll write about that another day.